


Faithful

by tomorrowsthe16th



Series: Fics I Wrote Half Asleep On My Phone [2]
Category: Catch-22 - Joseph Heller
Genre: 1970s, Cheating, Morning After, Multi, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:41:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26702332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomorrowsthe16th/pseuds/tomorrowsthe16th
Summary: Milo Minderbinder always remained a faithful husband, even when he was sleeping with his business partners.
Relationships: Milo Minderbinder/Ex-PFC Wintergreen, Milo Minderbinder/John Yossarian, Milo Minderbinder/Regina Minderbinder
Series: Fics I Wrote Half Asleep On My Phone [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1941490
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	Faithful

**Author's Note:**

> This is another old fic I fine tuned and thought would be a good post here. It takes place between Catch 22 and Closing Time, unfortunately implying that yes, Closing Time is canon. :-(
> 
> The idea of Milo being a family man despite not really showing much romantic love for his wife has always been an interesting concept to me.
> 
> Also I may have gotten details wrong. Joseph Heller did too though, so I am immune to criticism.... Just kidding. Anyway enjoy!!!

Milo Minderbinder was above all, a faithful husband. There was no questioning that. It was his comfort in that unshakeable faith that made him so open to exploring other relationships.

Rumors could start all they wanted. Rumors of M&M starting a prostitution ring in Europe, rumors of young women pursuing him for his wealth, rumors of him screwing a bombardier in Pianosa during the second World War. Some of these rumors were more true than others, but they were all immediately shut down. Milo was a faithful husband after all.

And Milo was still a faithful husband that morning in 1970 he woke up in a filthy motel room, strong arms embracing him as the owner of those arms obnoxiously snored.

Milo did not think about the arms holding him or the man snoring when he first awoke and instead thought about the all purpose cleaner his team of researchers had just developed and the wallpaper his artists had just designed. Looking at the nasty walls and moldy ceilings of the motel, it'd be so easy to sell them to the motel owners for a slightly inflated price. Milo would be hailed as a local hero for turning this disgusting sexual hideaway into a somewhat charming sexual hideaway.

Milo's thoughts of profit were interrupted by a particularly loud snore, reminding him he was not alone. Milo looked down at the arms around his chest. He knew whose arms they were, but figured in his sleepy haziness he could will them into someone else’s arms.

It didn’t work.

Wintergreen stayed embracing Milo in his sleep.

If Milo had one flaw to his name, it was that he could not turn Wintergreen into Yossarian, no matter how much he tried. He could not turn Wintergreen into Yossarian using jealousy. Yossarian went AWOL shortly after the partnership was formed and was too busy rowing an inflatable raft to notice. He could not turn Wintergreen into Yossarian by pulling the ol’ switcheroo. Making the two swap places and no one ask questions. Unfortunately, Yossarian, inquisitive as ever, would always ask questions. And he couldn’t turn Wintergreen into Yossarian through sheer willpower. Though he had tried. Many a time. Even once using black magic. It was hopeless.

Wintergreen did have his uses though. First of all, having him as an partner rather than a competitor meant the net worth of M&M would skyrocket. Second, he was actually much more clever than Milo had originally given him credit for. Milo also couldn't ignore that Wintergreen was, despite his snoring, a good bed companion. And of course, despite his negative attitude in personal situations, he proved an amazing hype man.

But on the other hand, a dishonest businessman was a dime a dozen. And Milo had the reputation of an honest family man to protect. Regina already detested Wintergreen, and suspected they had a relationship past being business partners, but of course, Milo assured her that he was a faithful husband.

And he was right. Milo's stable marriage and unending faith made the Minderbinders the ideal American family. He had shown nothing but loyalty to his own family, bringing home massive profits to them, ensuring his four daughters (or was it three now?) the best education possible, buying his family lavish gifts. What was more faithful than then the greatest degree of familymanitude money could buy? Milo's love language was the transfer of capital after all.

No one outside the Minderbinders questioned how faithful Milo was. Those who knew his brand wouldn't dare think of him as loose, and the friends he surrounded himself with clearly didn't have their hearts in marriage, considering how many of them were getting divorced. Milo made sure to bring that up in conversation in case any of his divorced friends questioned him.

Of course, part of being American, nay, part of being human, is having flaws. Sure he may have committed a little adultery here and there, but it was usually only with Wintergreen as Yossarian nowadays was generally was uninterested in spending time with Milo outside of work.

Goldarnit....

Sure Wintergreen was fine, but Milo had come up with the partnership for petty reasons. It had been, what, 25 years now? And still Yossarian had not gotten jealous! Perhaps a little more of a push would get something out of Yossarian.

Milo did have to be careful though.

After all, he didn't want to tarnish his reputation as a faithful husband.


End file.
